We all know divorce can get ugly. But those shouting matches on the courthouse steps? They don’t just hurt your feelings – they also massively inflate those legal bills. Want to keep the process smoother and cheaper? Flat Fee Divorce Solutions shares some ideas to help control the cost of getting divorced:
The Power Of Mediation
Instead of battling in court where lawyers rack up fees fighting over everything, consider mediation. A trained mediator helps you and your spouse find mutually agreeable solutions. This avoids much of the legal wrangling, saving time and emotional energy. Additionally, a mediator can help you determine what issues you actually disagree on and those you do not. No matter how ugly your case is, you both have things you agree on.
Collaborative Divorce: Team Up, Not Tear Down
This involves you, your spouse, and both of your lawyers all agreeing to a peaceful, negotiated settlement outside court. Everyone pledges to work together and not get nasty in the legal system. This often makes the process quicker and less stressful (which means less expensive!). This type of divorce also shows your children, if you have any, how to resolve conflicts without fighting as a simple divorce lawyer can attest.
Pick Your Communication Style Wisely
Every fiery text or angry voicemail sent to your ex adds fuel to the fire. When something needs discussing, try these calmer approaches:
Short and Business-Like Emails: Keep it clear and focused on practical issues, not on venting emotions. Emotional language will get you an emotional response in return, adding more and more fuel to the fire.
Scheduled Calls, texts or emails: Agree on a specific time to talk, so neither of you is caught off guard or feeling ambushed. This can allow both you and your soon-to-be-ex in a place where you can respond without fighting.
Wait to respond: If you are feeling angry or upset, nothing says you have to respond immediately. Instead, learn to wait to respond until you can do so in an unemotional way.
Find Support Outside The Legal Battleground
It’s okay to be upset, but unloading on your lawyer isn’t helpful (and it gets billed!). Instead rely on your family/trusted friends and consider engaging in therapy.
Trusted Friend/Family Member: Someone to simply listen without giving advice is often the best stress relief. Be careful though as this person might also be gathering information to feed to the other person. Do not vent on social media.
Therapist: They can help you process your emotions in a healthy way. Therapy can also help you learn how to strategically respond to your soon-to-be-ex. Therapists are generally covered by insurance and their hourly rate is often half of what you pay your lawyer.
Kids First: When Conflict Hurts Everyone
Children often bear the brunt of messy divorces. Prioritizing their well-being during this time means HUGE savings – both emotionally and financially.
Create a Co-Parenting Plan: Create this together (through lawyers or mediation) that focuses on consistent routines for your kids and reduces conflict over every little scheduling issue. If scheduling becomes an issue, use the language in your paperwork and use the paperwork to short circuit fights.
Shield Them: Don’t fight in front of them or badmouth your ex to your kids. It causes lasting hurt and may even land you in court over custody.
It’s Worth The Effort
It takes discipline and sometimes biting your tongue to avoid those conflict traps. But remember, each time you choose a calmer approach, you’re not just protecting your kids – you’re also protecting your wallet! If you need help with a separation, contact a lawyer near you.